Let’s All Take a Hit of the Drug That Is Lakers Failure

 

A beautiful summer sunset. A magnificent Aurora Borealis. A Nazi getting punched in the face. The Lakers getting viciously owned. These are all things that bring me great joy when I see them. To put it simply: Lakers fans are just the worst and life is better when they suffer. That’s what makes tonight’s events so delicious.

People think this is all about the Lakers missing out on Kawhi, but that’s just a small factor in this hilarious equation. Lakers fans and their front office have been running their mouth forever about how every single superstar is going to sign there. And not only that, they’ve had their targets set on LA-natives Kawhi Leonard and Paul George for years.

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The hubris and arrogance displayed by their fans was sickening. I’m too lazy to go search every Lakers fans tweet history about acquiring these 2 guys but I assure you there is a goldmine of entitled-trust-fund-baby sounding tweets about them becoming Lakers. They attacked the credibility of established and respected reporters like Woj while taking the word of fans with sauces like Arye Abraham as gospel. I can go on and on about how they are basically the scientology of NBA teams but that would take hours, the point is they are evil. And you rarely see good triumph over evil, but it’s exactly what we saw tonight.

Kawhi Leonard waited until July 6th at 2 in the morning to inform everyone he was headed to the Clippers. The “official” start date of Free Agency was June 30th at 6 P.M. Almost every notable NBA player ignored that timeline and had an idea of where they were going before then, and then made it official as soon as Free Agency started, if not within a day or two. But Kawhi waited over 6 days. He teased the Lakers like they were some horny guy watching camgirls. All the important Free Agents signed while Kawhi and Uncle Dennis took their time and enjoyed the holiday.

Then that good triumphing over evil thing I talked about actually happened. Kawhi informed the Lakers that he would be going to Los Angeles, just that he’d be moving in across the hall with the Clippers. And not only that, but he’s bringing the other LA-native that the Lakers have wanted for so long with him. Him and Paul George joined the Lakers inter-city rival and made the Lakers the 2nd best team in their own building. A team that was once proclaimed the Showtime Lakers and basketball royalty doesn’t even have the spotlight in their own zip code. They were cucked by an expansion team. A team that has known nothing but failure until recently. And it gets even better. The man that orchestrated it all was Lakers legend Jerry West. The god damn Logo. He won 1 NBA Finals in 9 appearances for them and now might give their next door neighbor multiple championships. No matter how much Lakers fans claim they are not mad and actually laughing with their hot wife they got posterized to the highest degree. This is something that barely ever happens. Usually evil forces prevail, but not this time. This time we feast on the tears of all Lakers fans and look back at their psychotic antics. Screen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.10.49 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.11.06 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.11.36 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.11.45 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.12.09 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.12.39 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.08.51 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.05.43 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.15.22 AMScreen Shot 2019-07-06 at 5.16.06 AM

Week 2 College Football Winners

It was a good week for The Wise Guy in Week 1 of College Football. I went 3-2 and +1.8 units since my lock of the week hit. My 2 losses were bad but the lock of the week was stone cold. Anyways, numbers never lie and you will always take +1.8 units when it comes to sports betting. Personally I’m ok with just breaking even but I want to make you all some money so here are my winners for week 2.

Appalachian State (-14.5) at Charlotte 6 P.M. 

Charlotte mascot

App State nearly knocked off Pen State last week but came up just short. Now everyone is high on them which has inflated their value in the public’s eye and has therefore affected the spread. App State is probably better than Charlotte, but are they 14.5 points better than them in their own building? I don’t think so and I also expect a let down for them.

Pick: Charlotte +14.5

Air Force at FAU (-8) 2 P.M. 

Lane Kiffin

FAU led by the infamous Lane Kiffin got blown out last week at Oklahoma. That’s ok though because Oklahoma is really freaking good and opening up your season there isn’t the best way to start. Now FAU is back at home against a mediocre opponent and they are poised to put up points like they always should have. Hate to bet against the troops in back to back weeks but it won last time so I might as well ride with my drunken pal Lane.

Pick: FAU -8

Lock of the Week 

Georgia (-10) at South Carolina 3:30 P.M. 2 Units

South Carolina Mascot

Both of these teams crushed their opponent in the previous week and should be big players in the SEC this year. Georgia has stud sophomore QB Jake Fromm and they are coming off a National Championship appearance. That is exactly why they are a very public friendly play in one of the biggest games of the day. I do think Georgia should win this game but South Carolina is damn good this year and should cover 10 points at home with their defense. Go Cocks!

Pick: South Carolina +10

P.S. – Last week I forgot to put how many units I placed on the lock of the week. It was 2 units and will probably always be 2 units but I will start writing it in case i decide to go really heavy on one game.

Week 1 College Football Winners

I finally get to write something that pertains to the title of this site: gambling. There is no better way to start it off too than with College Football. College Football is the mecca of sports betting. It is 12 hours of pure chaos with billions of dollars being risked on 18-23 year olds. It’s as American as it gets. I used to be one of those people that said the NFL is more entertaining than the NCAA but now that I gamble I don’t know. The NFL has declined in quality in my opinion and it’s just not as fun to bet on. The lines are so small and there aren’t many advantages to exploit. With college football though there are a million teams and a million games so it is easier to pick some favorable spots and track sharp action. There is typically “sharp action” on a game when the % of money being bet on a team is significantly more or less than the % of bets which causes a line change. These “sharp” bettors typically place large amounts or have influence with sportsbooks and it is why the lines tend to shift. Sharp bettors aren’t always right so you can’t just try to track their every move, but it is useful to look at along with other factors. Now that I have rambled about gambling terms let’s get to some winners.

(To give you a warning before this next section just know that a lot of these picks won’t be marquee, primetime matchups. That isn’t how you make money in this sport, you make money by finding the advantages in the lesser known matchups since Vegas is less concerned about them due to the lower amount of bets placed on them)

Wake Forrest (-6) at Tulane, Thursday 8:00 P.M.

Tulan Mascot

I know College Football technically already started but it really starts Thursday night and this game provides an opportunity for bettors. Tulane returns 9 offensive starters from last year including dual threat Senior QB Jonathan Banks. Not only that but they are at home and there is sharp money on them. According to SportsAction only 41% of bets are on them while 77% of the money is. That is a significant difference that leads me to believe that sharp money is on Tulane and when you consider the other factors as well I suggest hammering them.

Pick: Tulane +6

Kent State at Illinois (-16.5) , Saturday Noon

Illionois Mascot

(Illinois’ real mascot was problematic so I used a picture of a dog from the google results)

Now this is a pretty bad game between two garbage teams, but there’s an opportunity here. The Kent State Golden Flashes are 1-4 ATS (against the spread) in their last 5 non-conference games, 1-5 ATS in their last 6 games in September, and 1-4 ATS in their last 5 games overall. They also went 2-10 in the MAC last year which is pretty bad. Illinois wasn’t great and never really is but at least they play in the Big Ten and are tough on defense under Lovie Smith. They will also be at home and are seeing a difference of +36 between % of bets and % of money which means the sharps are on them. Don’t get me wrong this could go awry since Illinois isn’t that great, but taking a Big Ten team against a MAC team with these circumstances generally pays off.

Pick: Illinois – 16.5

UNLV at USC (-26.5), Saturday 4:00 P.M.

Arizona v UNLV

(This guy definitely mainlines meth at tailgates)

Now we finally get to a somewhat decent game. People are probably thinking “oh well USC is at home against a basketball school so I will pick them” but not so fast my friends. USC just lost Darnold who sort of carried them last year. They are a pretty big favorite against a UNLV team that is returning 12 starters and also a good QB in Armani Rogers. I mean you just can’t fail to cover the spread when the guy leading your team is named Armani. Also USC has a freshman QB which generally doesn’t bode well in Week 1. Lastly, sharp money is also on UNLV with 67% of money on them compared to the 56% of bets that are on USC. Jump on the Rebels.

Pick: UNLV +26.5

UMass at Boston College (-18), Saturday 1:00 P.M.

MinuteMan finger gun.jpg

(Best Mascot in sports hands down)

Listen BC is the most overrated school on the planet when it comes to academics and sports. The best they ever were was with Doug Flutie the legend about 30 years ago and then Matt Ryan recently but even he couldn’t take them that far. They just aren’t that good and especially lately. Addazio had been putting out very good defenses but that changed a little when his coordinator Don Brown went to Michigan. Their offense is always horrendous because they NEVER have a good QB and rely solely on the running game. UMass is one of few independent schools and they really struggled the past few years, but they actually should be ok this year for UMass standards. They return a lot of starters including speedy wideout Andy Isabella. They already won a game this year so they are technically the best team in college football right now. Listen I’m not saying they’re going to win, but they should cover against a pretty bad offense in BC. Sprinkle a little dough on the money line if you want, but the pick is the Minutemen.

Pick: UMass +18

Lock Of The Week:

Army at Duke (-13.5), Friday 7:00 P.M.

You Lock It Up

When people think of Duke they think of basketball which is strange since they have won like 1 title in the last 8 years but I digress. Duke has actually been pretty solid at football lately. They aren’t going to beat Alabama but they can certainly beat non-power 5 teams. That is exactly what Army is since they play in the Patriot League. Now I know Army beat Duke last year, but Duke has always defended Army’s option pretty well. Duke’s defense is very experienced this year which means they should do even better at it. Duke should also see improvements to their offense due to the returning almost all their starters which will help in this matchup since offense is what held Duke back against Army last year. Duke is home which if you can’t tell at this point in the blog matters a lot in college football. They also see some heavy sharp action with 81% of the money on them as opposed to just 52% of the bets. Unfortunately I have to sacrifice my integrity and bet on Duke but hey money is green.

 

Take these picks at your own peril. I am trying to give out winners to help you win money. These are my best bets and jut a few of the ones I actually place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jayson Tatum Was Historically Efficient As A Rookie

The other day I was messing around on Basketball Reference as I tend to do when I’m bored at work and I noticed something crazy. I somehow ended up on Jayson Tatum’s page and saw his ridiculous shooting percentages and stats.

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He shot 43% from 3, had a nearly 54% eFG%, and also a 58.6 TS%. That is ridiculous for a player of any age, let alone a rookie. So that made me think how his shooting held up against other rookie seasons. In order to do that I used Basketball Reference’s Season Finder tool to compare other players’ rookie seasons to Tatum’s by using his stats as a baseline.

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I started off with these 4 stats because I really wanted to see how his shooting held up but I didn’t want just every random sharpshooter to show up so I included his points and rebounds as well. I also only used people who qualified for 3P% leaderboards which means it eliminates people who took four 3’s all year but made two. Another piece of criteria that was not shown was age. For that I put ages 18 to 23 as the range which I felt was fair since you really shouldn’t have a rookie season outside that range.

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As you can see Jayson Tatum is the only player in the history of the NBA to average 13 PPG and 5 TRB while shooting 43% from 3 and 53% eFG. But I didn’t want to just stop there, I also wanted to see how far ahead he was of the next most efficient rookie season. So in order to do that I kept points and rebounds the same but kept decreasing 3P% and eFG% until someone else showed up. Then someone finally did…

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To my surprise the only other player to come close to what Tatum did as a rookie was my favorite player ever: Paul Pierce. Even then he still shot significantly worse, but he did put up more points and rebounds. I still wanted to see what other possible legends were alongside Tatum in these categories so I kept searching and I kept broadening my criteria.

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The next person to show up on this list was another Celtics legend in Larry Bird which just made me start to think that I run Basketball Reference. In all seriousness though this is a ridiculous trio of names to be included in. And Tatum isn’t just included in this list, he shot much better than them. I’m not saying he is going to be better than these guys or the best shooter of all time, I just did this little exercise to show how historically efficient he is and how scary he can really be. The efficiency might not stay put at this ridiculous level, but if it drops just a little while increasing his usage he would be one of the league’s best players.

P.S. – At the end of this I broadened the criteria to all NBA seasons and not just rookie seasons.

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There have only been 12 other seasons where someone did what Jayson Tatum did in his ROOKIE season. There were only other 11 players to do it total since Otto Porter did it twice. This kid is a fucking star.

 

My MVP Candidates For 2018-2019

5. Kawhi

Before last season and the circus that came with it  Kawhi was an MVP candidate the previous two seasons. He had been putting up great offensive numbers while playing DPOY level defense for a 50 win Spurs team. He never really got a lot of MVP love though because the Spurs have always been good. Now he joins a Raptors team that won 59 games and got the 1 seed the year before and faces the same problem. The Raptors were just too good last year and unless Kawhi takes them to 65 wins it will be hard for him to win MVP. However, I still expect a great bounce-back season from him which lands him in the top 5.

4. Lebron

You have to put Lebron in any sort of MVP talk, you would be stupid not to. He has been in the conversation since he came into the league and that’s not changing any time soon. He joined a new team with a bunch of young guys and no other established stars which already gives him a narrative. He should be putting up good stats while taking the Lakers to the playoffs for the first time in a few years. That’s all enough to put him in the running but unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your feelings) the Lakers will not be good enough for him to actually win it.

3. Kyrie

Here at the top 3 is where it really starts to get interesting. This is where the race becomes more of a toss up in which any guy has a chance to win, including Kyrie. He is going to be playing for a very good Celtics team that is likely to get the 1st seed in the east. He is coming off an underrated and extremely efficient season last year. The only person who has ever matched his efficiency from last year is Steph who won back to back MVPs. Kyrie is going to be playing with a loaded team which may take away some of his votes but it will also allow him to be even more efficient and pick his spots. He has that benefit but is still the best player on the team that can go off for 40 on any given night. Get ready for Kyrie to get funkier than ever this year.

2. Anthony Davis

I honestly thought Anthony Davis should have been considered a lot more for MVP last year. He had his best year while carrying a Boogie-less Pelicans team to the playoffs in a loaded West. He was also a finalist for DPOY after having his best defensive season yet. I personally would have picked him last year but Harden also had a phenomenal season and it was his time. Now the generation before AD has all gotten their MVPs. NBA writers typically don’t like giving MVP to a guy twice unless they are an all time great. This clears the way for younger stars like AD to win one. He should be a frontrunner for it this year because he should have a solid team and he should put up numbers. Like I said with Lebron though, I don’t know if his team will be good enough in the loaded West for him to win it.

1. Giannis

This is my pick for MVP this year: the strong, burly, wholesome, and pure Giannis. It’s finally his time to cement himself as a top 5 player in the league. Last year he was amazing, the only problem was he was being coached by Jason Kidd and Joe Prunty. It’s why the Bucks struggled so much. But this year Giannis now has Mike Budenholzer who should improve this Bucks team a lot. He did wonders with the Hawks turning Kyle Korver and Jeff Teague into All-Stars. If he can do that I’m fairly certain he can make Giannis into an MVP. Budenholzer’s specialty is offense which is perfect because the Bucks were a mess on that end last year. He should get Giannis working as a drive and kick facilitator while surrounding him with spacing which should create a lot of opportunities for him. His defense will still be at the elite All-Defense caliber it was before and the Bucks should see a bump in wins. I think the Bucks end up as a top 3 seed in the East and because of that and the stats Giannis is poised to put up he will win MVP.

 

Like I said before, I think anyone in the top 3 has a chance to win. It really depends on how their teams do which will affect the narrative for all of them. No matter who wins though I’m looking forward to (hopefully) another young, new face taking home the award.

The Sixers are the Fourth Best Team in the East

After the playoffs were over and Lebron left for Los Angeles everyone began creating this narrative that the Celtics and Sixers are the only 2 teams in the East. Everyone is excited about the renewed Sixers-Celtics rivalry, including me. Both teams have young stars poised to dominate this league, both teams have good coaches, and both teams have rabid fanbases. It should be fun whenever we play, but the Sixers are getting ahead of themselves.

Yes Ben, you do need to get past the Celtics. You also need to get past the Raptors and the Bucks. There was a lot of hullabaloo about the Raptors getting swept by the Cavs, which I get, but the Sixers didn’t do much better and caught significantly less flak from the general public. The Raptors got swept by the 2nd best player ever, the Sixers lost in 5 games to a team missing their 2 best players. Now the Raptors traded in DeRozan and Poeltl for Kawhi and Danny Green. Who did the Sixers get? Wilson Chandler and Mike Muscala. It was an underwhelming offseason for the Sixers who were supposed to be in contention for all the stars hitting the market. In my eyes the Sixers definitely aren’t better than the Raptors if Kawhi is back to being Kawhi.

Now as far as comparing the Sixers and Bucks goes I am much more optimistic about the Bucks than most people. I don’t think it’s without reason though. The real acquisition that matters for the Bucks was the hiring of Mike Budenholzer. He took the Hawks to a 1 seed and 60 wins in a conference that contains Lebron James. That team relied on Jeff Teague and Kyle Korver as some of its main guys. He did have Millsap and Horford, but now he has Giannis and Middleton. Sometimes I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking about Khris Middleton wopping threes in Celtics’ players faces. He is a god damn killer and maybe the most underrated player in the league. Bud now gets to work with that, Brogdon, Bledsoe, and oh yeah Giannis. That is an extremely talented core that should have done more in the East last year. The reason they didn’t do more was their coaching. Jason Kidd and Joe Prunty were extremely incompetent and made bonehead move after bonehead move. They are getting replaced by one of the better coaches in Budenholzer. I have faith in him to put Giannis and this team in a position to succeed. They have the right players to be very good on defense and now they have a coach whose specialty is offense and should get things clicking on that end. I know I just got on the Sixers for only making minor moves but that’s because they were supposed to make bigger moves. The Bucks have made some minor moves that should really help their depth. They already have their top 5 guy in Giannis, they just needed to build around him and that’s what they did. They signed Brook Lopez and Ilyasova to help space the floor and they also got some good, young 2-way players in DiVincenzo and Pat Connaughton. The DiVincenzo pick was a tad high in my opinion but he should still be a good depth add along with Connaughton. This is shaping up to be a solid group of guys that Bud can work with and take to the top of this Eastern Conference. I expect a big leap from them and for Giannis to win MVP.

Listen I know Sixers fans will get up in arms about this. Believe it or not I actually like your team despite the fanbase being a bunch of mouth-breathers, but there are just some really good teams at the top of the East. I am still concerned about the Sixers’ injury issues. Simmons seems pretty durable after the initial injury but you never know. I was as high on Fultz as anyone but he is still a massive question mark. And then obviously we have Embiid who is unfortunately always a moment away from a bad injury. I’m not rooting for these guys to get hurt but you have to acknowledge the risk there. It’s the thing that makes the Sixers’ range so wide. Things could end up going to shit or they could be really good and I could be wrong. But there are just too many things I listed above that make me weary of calling them second fiddle.

The Celtics are Winning the 2019 NBA Finals

I was going to wait to write this until September or October but I am slowly losing my mind during this offseason and I don’t need to see the preseason to make this prediction. I have been following every shred of Celtics news on social media this summer and the more I see the more excited I become about this team. They just have this certain glow around them that can only be described as special. They feel like the Boston Celtics again. They feel like the best franchise in the league that is poised to stay at the top for a while. They feel like those 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s Celtics teams that would follow up a great season by making a big acquisition to keep them propelling towards the top. They feel like a championship team. I say all of this because I truly believe the Boston Celtics are your 2019 NBA Champions. I’m not saying this for clicks or to be a contrarian or to be the “I told you so guy” (well maybe), I’m saying this because I truly believe it. Having watched every minute of this Celtics rebuild I have been waiting to write this article. I thought about it last year but I reconsidered and came to the conclusion that it was a year too early. I turned out to be right because our big free agent signing and second-best player snapped his leg in a stomach-churning fluke injury, but that’s beside the point. This is it, this is our year and below I will give you a few reasons why.

Starting 5

Celtics New Big 3

No one in the league has a better starting 5 and yes I’m including the Warriors. Obviously the Warriors are the crème de la crème of the NBA there is no denying it, but I actually think our starting 5 is more well-rounded. Is Steph better than Kyrie? Yes, but Kyrie has won that matchup nearly every time they played. Kyrie is a better defender when it matters in my opinion (even though I think Steph’s defense gets picked on too much). Steph is generally considered better than Kyrie but Kyrie is the one proving it when the games are important so I’m taking Kyrie in that matchup.

Now obviously the Warriors signing Boogie Cousins makes everyone think “oh well there goes the season” but I think that is extremely shortsighted. Boogie is coming off an Achilles injury that is probably the worst injury you can have as an NBA player short of stepping on a landmine. No one of his size and caliber has suffered this injury before. We really have no clue what he will look like. He’s a big dude and that’s not great when you suffer an Achilles injury. Kobe wasn’t the same after his although he was older. All I’m saying is there is a reason teams were wary of signing him to a big deal. He shouldn’t come back before the All-Star break and when he does he might be rusty and not the same player. Boogie was already slow on defensive rotations pre-injury, now with this injury he is going to be even worse in that area. The person who we have to match up with Boogie right now is Al Horford and for this season and this season alone I will take Horford in that matchup. Horford has played incredible ball these past 2 years. He is the glue that holds this team together. He is a better passer and defender than Boogie and frankly that’s all the Celtics really need from him along with his incredible spacing. Boogie is a talented scorer and will make the Warriors dangerous as hell if he is close to his pre-injury level of play, but Horford is better at what both teams need from these guys.

Where the Warriors have the advantage in the starting 5 is Klay and Durant versus Jaylen and Hayward. Durant is clearly better than Hayward and everyone on the planet besides me would take Klay over Jaylen. I don’t think the discrepancy in these matchups is as big as others think though. Hayward is the perfect team player to plug into a contender. He is arguably the best passer on the team, shoots around 40% from 3, and plays great defense. He is also another guy on this team that can create their own shot which is something we really struggled with at times last year. The year before his injury he got robbed of an All-NBA team selection. He is really freaking good and people are going remember once he sets foot on the court for a game again. I repeat, he clearly is not as good as Durant but that’s ok because we have advantages in other matchups and he isn’t that far off. Now as far as Jaylen versus Klay I personally think it’s pretty even. Klay is probably better if I take off my green goggles but I will never speak ill of Jaylen Brown on Al Gore’s internet. Klay is a better shooter and probably a slightly better defender. That’s ok though because they are both tertiary options on offense and both shoot good splits while playing great defense. To sum this section up the Warriors win these matchups, but we have seen Durant choke in the playoffs and we have seen Klay go cold in the playoffs as well. The discrepancy in these matchups is just small enough for us to make up for it.

Now Draymond versus Tatum is a weird matchup to evaluate. They technically play the same position but they do much different things. Draymond is their glue guy who holds down the defense and helps facilitate at times. Tatum is another two-way wing for us who we can rely on to shoot well and create his own shot at times. Tatum is better on defense than everyone expected but obviously he isn’t even close to Draymond. However, from what we have seen from Tatum’s rookie year and workouts this summer Draymond isn’t even close to Tatum on offense. Their strengths are complete opposites but Tatum is younger and has a lot more potential. I would take Tatum but to provide a veil of objectivity I will say this matchup is a wash.

Bench

Smart and Terry.jpg

This is where the Celtics have the biggest advantage against any team, including the Warriors. Their bench this year is shaping up to be incredible considering it is comprised of guys that helped lead us to a 7 game series in the conference finals against the second best basketball player ever (Cedi Osman). Led by Terry Rozier and Marcus Smart there is no other way to describe this bench other than erotic (shoutout to the Riffsman @hebertofriffs).

We made some sneaky good additions to the bench mob this year by drafting lottery talent Robert Williams and signing overseas player and former Pitt star Brad Wanamaker. Williams is a prospect with tremendous upside that could provide something this team has never really had: a rim runner/rim protector. He really should have gone in the lottery but fell due to questions about his medical records. Williams has a lot of potential but even if he doesn’t pan out it really won’t affect us, that is the benefit of selecting a lottery talent at 27. Brad Wanamaker on the other hand should be a known quantity for us. He impressed a lot of NBA GMs with his euro league play and it showed due to the interest he garnered from a lot of teams. After watching some of his tape I couldn’t believe he never found his way onto an NBA roster. He is a skilled ball handler, passer, shooter, and appears to be decent on defense. How much he plays for the Celtics this year is unknown but from what we saw last year it is always great to have depth and he is for sure an upgrade over Larkin and Nader.

Those are just the new additions too. We have Daniel Theis returning from injury and people forget he is better than Baynes. I love All Of Australia but Theis is more versatile and fits what we do better whereas Baynes is more of a specialist who plays against bigger lineups. There is still a need for both though seeing as how Baynes was a huge help against the Sixers. Then we get to Semi Ojeleye whose combat muscles will put you in a coma. Semi sort of flew in under most people’s radar last year despite being an elite defender as a rookie. His defensive possessions on Giannis in the playoffs made me swoon and if he continues to improve his shot and offensive consistency he could be a valuable piece of our core for years to come. We also are bringing back Jabari Bird who looked like a man amongst boys during summer league and showed some serious potential while helping a depleted Celtics team last year.

Finally we get to the part of the lineup that puts the mob in bench mob. Marcus Smart, Terry Rozier, and Marcus Morris is the best bench trio in the league and it’s not even close. Terry and Morris give you scoring ability while playing good defense and Smart gives you elite defense while still being a solid passer and playmaker on offense. They are also ready to throw hands at a moment’s notice, specifically Morris. If you don’t believe me just ask the Kansas football team, but I digress. Marcus Smart is really the person here who sticks out to me because he really should be a starter for another team but instead he has willingly accepted his role as super sixth man. When Marcus Smart comes into the game he is like a shot of adrenaline that instantly gives life to the team. There is a reason he gets a lot of burn in crunch time despite his poor shooting and it’s because he makes winning plays. Him, Rozier, and Morris will comprise the 8 -man rotation we see in the playoffs. Semi, Theis, and Baynes will see some run too but in specific situations.

Oh yeah one last thing on the bench. I’d be doing a disservice to anyone reading this by not mentioning our beautiful thicc boy Guerschon Yabusele. He may only see time in blowouts this year but god damn he is so lovable. It is very clear the guys on the team love him a lot and I genuinely think his mere presence on the bench makes us better. Sometimes the media overhypes good locker room guys but they can actually have an impact on a team’s chemistry and I think Yabu does just that.

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Versatility

Over these last 4 or 5 years we have seen the NBA change drastically. Gone are the days of having a traditional power forward and center, pounding it in the post, and settling for mid-range jumpers instead of 3’s. Today’s NBA is all about versatility and I think the Celtics are the most versatile team in the NBA. The Warriors’ pace and space style of play has forced teams to adapt, including the Celtics. Except the Celtics haven’t just adapted, they evolved to the next step on the evolutionary scale. The Warriors started the style of versatility but the Celtics have perfected it. The Warriors still have weak links in terms of versatility (Steph, Boogie, bench guys), but the Celtics are versatile from top to bottom aside from Kyrie. In today’s NBA you have to be able to switch and guard multiple positions and this Celtics roster is filled with guys who can do that. Jaylen and Hayward are both very good defenders that can guard positions 2-4. Tatum is also a versatile defender that can guard 3’s and 4’s. Horford is arguably the most versatile of them all and it’s why he got DPOY votes. He did an incredible job on defense in the playoffs switching off Embiid to guard that coward Ben Simmons. It’s his anchoring of the defense that made this the best defensive team in the league last year. Then we have Smart coming off the bench who literally guards every position. He regularly gets switched onto elite 4’s and 5’s and still shuts them down when they try to post him up. He is a defensive swiss army knife that we can sic on anyone at any time so long as he doesn’t put his hand through an Edvard Munch painting. Semi is another amazing defender on the bench that can also guard basically all positions like Smart can. Morris showed he can guard top guys with the defensive performance he had against Lebron in Game 1 of the ECF. Terry Rozier isn’t always great on defense but he is extremely athletic and pesky which will always make him dangerous on that end.

That’s just defensive versatility I’m talking about too. Defensive versatility doesn’t matter if you don’t have the offensive versatility to go along with it. Everyone in the Celtics starting lineup can create their own shot and score in multiple ways. They all hover around 40% from 3, 4 of the 5 are great passers (sorry Jaylen), and they can all attack the rim. The only team that exceeds the offensive versatility of our starting 5 is the Warriors and that is only if they have a healthy Boogie. Then you get to our bench and the pain isn’t over because Terry and Morris are exceptionally talented scorers for bench players. We also have Smart who is infamously bad at shooting but still gets hot from 3 at times and at least forces teams to respect his shot and close out on him unlike the Coward in Philadelphia. Theis was very skilled on offense last year by providing spacing and cleaning up on the offensive glass. He has a crafty game that translates well to today’s NBA. The rest of the bench isn’t as versatile on offense but that’s ok because I just listed a 9-man rotation of versatile offensive players and the remaining guys will only be brought in during the playoffs for certain situations. This team is going to be an absolute nightmare to defend and I can’t wait to watch.

Coaching

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Last but certainly not least is our coach, our master, our President, my lord and savior Brad Stevens. I don’t care what anyone says he is the best coach in the league. Pop is still doing his thing with the Spurs but if you asked me to pick one coach for Game 7 of the 2019 NBA Finals I am picking Brad Stevens. He is just a beautiful basketball mind and it has been a treat to watch him develop this team into a contender. He takes zero credit for this team’s success even though he deserves a lot. The players love him since they respect his basketball IQ and he genuinely cares about their lives away from the court. He knows how to deal with this generation of players as well as anyone. Ever since he took Butler to back-to-back national championship games I have been in awe of his work. The way he utilizes his personnel to always have the right lineup on the court is brilliant, his ATO plays will make you think he is a time traveler, he always keeps his composure, and is very careful about when he blows up on the refs. Sometimes it feels like he was created in a lab to be the best damn basketball coach in history. The day he isn’t the Celtics coach is the day I go into a deep depression. Brad Stevens is the best coach in the league and a big reason why we are winning it all.

This was longer than expected but I needed to get my feelings on this team out there. If non-Celtics fans get wind of this I will catch some flak but I don’t care. Everyone talks about the big bad Warriors like they are unbeatable. They were down 3-2 to the Rockets last year until the Rockets lost their 2nd best and most reliable player. The Celtics this year will be better than the Rockets were last year. The Celtics are going through the Eastern Conference which is tough enough to give us some good competition and practice, but it’s easy enough to make it to the Finals. The Warriors have to go through the gauntlet that is the Western Conference. They have serious injury history with 3 of their best players and I don’t root for injuries ever but it’d be foolish to not acknowledge that. I’m not even close to the first person to make this reference but to quote the American cinematic masterpiece Rocky 4 “he’s a man, not a machine, he’s a man!”. The Warriors are human, they can be beat. Last year they were cut, now it’s time to knock them out. You can call this article stupid and wishful thinking but if you read this whole thing and don’t think the Celtics have a puncher’s chance then you are in for a surprise.

Welcome to The Wise Guy

@trevorstweetss on Twitter

Welcome to The Wise Guy. I called it The Wise Guy because I am terrible at coming up with names and also I’m Italian and like gambling. Maybe you think it’s stupid, maybe you think it’s funny, everyone’s entitled to their opinion. The point is that the title is not what matters. What matters is that I am trying to start something new here. I am trying to become the first white guy to start a sports blog. Many say I am breaking down barriers but I’m not here for the praise or the recognition. I just want to talk about sports and interact with other sports fans. Usually I vent out my thoughts on Twitter but sometimes I can’t always get my full point across and I end up pissing people off with how much I tweet. So I am coming here from time to time to write about things that stick out to me. My writing will almost always be about sports and most specifically the NBA. I’m a huge NBA and Celtics fan and will die for Marcus Smart. If I’m being 100% honest I will never be able to be completely unbiased when it comes to the Celtics, but I will try. When it comes to everything else though I am very objective. I care about the Red Sox, Patriots, and North Carolina Basketball but I can be reasonable about them. Aside from all the things I mentioned above I am an extreme degenerate gambler, hence “The Wise Guy”. When football season rolls around I am betting pretty heavily on the NFL and College Football. Football isn’t my favorite sport but gambling on it is the best and I will try to give out winners. My strongest area of gambling however is the NBA and College Basketball and I will be giving out a lot of picks when those seasons come around and I will also be covering the NBA heavily. Sometimes I may talk about movies and TV but not as much. If you made it past me rambling then I appreciate you and hope you keep reading. This really isn’t too serious and I welcome all interaction. Leo dancing